Haunting . . .

All these songs are haunting me for many days and nights.

Forgiven, Not Forgotten (by The Corrs)

All alone, staring on
Watching her life go by
When her days are grey
And her nights are black
Different shades of mundane
And the one-eyed furry toy that lies upon the bed
Has often heard her cry
And heard her whisper out a name long forgiven
But not forgotten

You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're not forgotten

A bleeding heart torn apart
Left on an icy grave
In their room where they once lay
Face to face
Nothing could get in their way
But now the memories of the man are haunting her days
And the craving never fades
She's still dreaming of the man long forgiven
But not forgotten

You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're not forgotten

Still alone, staring on
Wishing her life goodbye
As she goes searching for the man long forgiven
But not forgotten

You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're forgiven, not forgotten,
You're not forgotten,
You're not forgotten,
No, you're not forgotten.

What can I do (by The Corrs)

Haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me.

Illegal (by Shakira)

Who would have thought
That you could hurt me
The way you've done it?
So deliberate, so determined

And since you have been gone
I bite my nails for days and hours
And question my own questions on and on

So tell me now, tell me now
Why you're so far away
When I'm still so close

You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard to be attentive
To all you wanted
Always supportive, always patient
What did I do wrong?
I'm wondering for days and hours
It's clear, it isn't here where you belong

Anyhow, anyhow
I wish you both all the best
I hope you get along

But you don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

Open heart
Open heart
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

Open heart
Open heart
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

Innocent (by Taylor Swift)

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent

There's some things you can't speak of
But tonight you'll live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to
Be brand new

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

சந்தோஷ கண்ணீரே (by வைரமுத்து) 

 இரு பூக்கள் கிளை மேலே ஒரு புயலோ மலை மேலே
உயிர் ஆடும் திகிலாலே என் வாழ்வின் ஓரம் வந்தாயே செந்தேனே...
இரு பூக்கள் கிளை மேலே ஒரு புயலோ மலை மேலே
உயிர் ஆடும் திகிலாலே என் வாழ்வின் ஓரம் வந்தாயே செந்தேனே...

கண்ணீரே கண்ணீரே சந்தோஷ கண்ணீரே கண்ணீரே...
தேடித் தேடித் தேய்ந்தேனே மீண்டும் கண்முன் கண்டேனே பெண்ணே பெண்ணே
பெண்ணே பெண்ணே பேசாய் பெண்ணே காண்ணே கண்ணே காணாய் கண்ணே கண்ணீரே
கண்ணீரே கண்ணீரே சந்தோஷ கண்ணீரே கண்ணீரே...
தேடித் தேடித் தேய்ந்தேனே மீண்டும் கண்முன் கண்டேனே பெண்ணே பெண்ணே
பெண்ணே பெண்ணே பேசாய் பெண்ணே காண்ணே கண்ணே காணாய் கண்ணே கண்ணீரே

உன் பார்வை பொய்தானா பெண்ணென்றால் திரைதானா
பெண் நெஞ்சே சிறைதானா சரிதானா...
பெண் நெஞ்சில் மோகம் உண்டு அதில் பருவத் தாபம் உண்டு
பேராசைத்தீயும் உண்டு ஏன் உன்னை ஒளித்தாய் இன்று
புதிர் போட்ட பெண்ணே நில் நில் பதில் தோன்றவில்லை சொல் சொல்
கல்லொன்று தடைசெய்த போதும் புல்லொன்று புதுவேர்கள் போடும்
நம் காதல் அது போல மீறும்
கல்லொன்று தடைசெய்த போதும் புல்லொன்று புதுவேர்கள் போடும்
நம் காதல் அது போல மீறும் கண்ணில் கண்ணே கண்ணீர் இன்ப கண்ணீரே...
தேடித் தேடித் தேய்ந்தேனே மீண்டும் கண்முன் கண்டேனே பெண்ணே பெண்ணே
பெண்ணே பெண்ணே பேசாய் பெண்ணே காண்ணே கண்ணே காணாய் கண்ணே கண்ணீரே
கண்ணீரே...

பால் நதியே நீ எங்கே வரும் வழியில் மறைந்தாயோ
பல தடைகள் கடந்தாயோ சொல் கண்ணே...
பேரன்பே உந்தன் நினைவு என் கண்ணைச் சுற்றும் கனவு
இது உயிரைத் திருடும் உறவு உன் துன்பம் என்பது வரவு
ஏ மர்ம ராணி நில் நில் ஒரு மௌளன வார்த்தை சொல் சொல்
உன்னோடு நான் கண்ட பந்தம் மண்ணோடு மழை கொண்ட சொந்தம்
காய்ந்தாலும் அடி ஈரம் எஞ்சும்
உன்னோடு நான் கண்ட பந்தம் மண்ணோடு மழை கொண்ட சொந்தம்
காய்ந்தாலும் அடி ஈரம் எஞ்சும் கண்ணில் கண்ணே கண்ணீர் இன்ப கண்ணீரே
கண்ணீரே கண்ணீரே சந்தோஷ கண்ணீரே கண்ணீரே...
தேடித் தேடித் தேய்ந்தேனே மீண்டும் கண்முன் கண்டேனே பெண்ணே பெண்ணே
பெண்ணே பெண்ணே பேசாய் பெண்ணே காண்ணே கண்ணே காணாய் கண்ணே கண்ணீரே
கண்ணீரே...

Tanabata Day 2010

உன்னோடு நான் கண்ட பந்தம் 

மண்ணோடு மழை கொண்ட சொந்தம்
காய்ந்தாலும் அடி ஈரம் எஞ்சும்

- வைரமுத்து

Tanabata 2010 is one of the most unforgettable joyous days in my life. Still evergreen and will be evergreen.  (It's unbelievable that one year has gone). Wishing many more Tanabata 2010 return in my life very soon. (Earlier in 2000, in Chemistry class, my master Dr.Seetharaman Sir called me by my name. Sir calling by name is quite rare and it conveyed a great acknowledgement to my studiousness). 

Journey in a Book

Last Saturday it was around 10:00a.m. I was done with washing my clothes. It was a cloudy day with gentle breeze kissing the cheeks. There were four books on my table; one among them was ‘Interpreter of Maladies’ (IoM) by Jhumpha Lahiri.  Picking IoM (a book collection of short stories) to read, I looked for a calm place in my home but I had to escape to a park nearby. I could spot a Neem tree around one of the corners of the park which was void of noise but filled with good light and breeze of fresh air. Relaxing on the long bench under the tree I started reading the first story, told from the third-person perspective of the husband, deals with the disintegrating relationship of an Indian couple. The plot kept engaging. Left hand took the pleasure of holding the book and right hand was turning the pages. It was different for right hand which normally scrolls the mouse. Cerebrum collected the feedback from Iris manipulated and transmitted right neurotic signals to that palm that beautifully adjusted the book at a convenient angle and distance to the eye.  My eyes had to adhere only to the book and one range of light in the park (or a room). It is still not clear why I am not able to keep correct brightness and contrast in my LCD monitors. Half an hour passed I was done with the first story, continuing with the second story my fingers were not able to flap the page, but my fingers willfully took a touch of saliva and managed to turn the page. Turning from one page to one page was like watching scene 1, scene 2, in movie hall But wondering whether I could get the same impact while vertically scrolling the pages. My hands were in no hurry to turn the pages, but hands will be in a hurry to scroll the mouse. In a way my patience is improved.

Children’s and parents were walking from the school nearby to their home via the park, reminded its lunch time. I had a delicious meal followed by a petite sleep. The brownish tinge in the vertical edges of the book indicated that it was half way through the book. In the evening it was raining heavily so could not escape. Guiling my granny I got her easy-chair for an hour and continued with the book.  My sister passed a title Maharaja for me while she glimpsed my crossed legs heading to the ceiling. Placed a small request for Tea to my granny. While waiting for Tea, the cheeks felt a mild air, with a fragrance of bleached chlorine, while I was scrambling the vertical edges of the starched pages in the book.   Leaning on the chair, the spinal cord was enjoying the trajectory of the chair, right hand served the tea to the lips and left palm continued to hold the book. Now I was reading a story about a NRI husband who was waiting for a couple of months for his Indian resident wife’s arrival from India in subsequent weeks. The plot triggered in me few Haiku poems and riddles about my sweet heart. Wrote it softly with a blunted pencil (blunt provided a soft touch) in the book, however I encrypted her name with an equivalent used in Medieval Era so that my siblings don’t decipher it. I guess my son while reading this book would ask me ‘Pappa did you meant Mom here?’ In lended books I could see people underlining their favorite sentence quotes, bracing the portion they liked very much in the lended. Long back I read a novel which was a collation of several chapters of a historic novel ‘Ponniyin Selvan’ (in Tamil) which was a series for five years in 1950s in a weekly magazine. This collated books (rare even in old book shops) carried pictures that are not available in books today and it carried short stories in the last page of each episode. Those short stories were bonus to us. It was 8pm now; my friend walked towards me, pulled the (IoM) book, read it for ten minutes and reserved the book for his train journey to Chennai in next couple of weeks.
    
After my dinner, I continued with book. Unequally spaced brownish tinged lines on the edges indicated that I am left with only a few pages in the book. Like Krishna laying on Adishesha I laid on the spread mat and started reading the book. I could see a kind fragrance leaf (called Marikozhundu in Tamil) preserved by my sister, Oh! This book has served as a herbarium. By 11pm I was done with the book, hence placed where my hand could reach comfortably and retired to bed. Next day morning I could see somebody has kept the book on the table. But I still have three books on my table to be returned to my friends in couple of weeks. These glimpses of the books on the table constantly drive from my cerebrum to create time for reading. Though my personal book rack is relatively small, it reminds me that there is lot more to read. When my friends come they pick a couple of them to their home. However if it had been in my desktop I doubt whether they would have had patience to dig into my personal folders and find an e-book. In Nai Sadak (A dedicated lane for old books in Chandni Chowk, Delhi) or Moor Market (in Chennai), when a long-wished book is found the excitement is unique. Or if I walk to my favorite book house HigginBothams, I can ramp on the rack of new arrivals to spot some good books. Using my index finger, I can pull the book from its top corner and read for while and decide to buy the book which normally wouldn’t go wrong. In HigginBothams and other book houses we could see many people of different ages looking out for books. As years pass we start to share our share our likings.

I am afraid that the fast growing eBooks would restrict people to home shells and chop them off from the society at libraries, book shops and book houses. It might change the way, just like the digital photographs have erased the charm of a carefully prepared album with photographs pasted. While viewing a photo album with your family and your children popping their head from the top we move to the days those photos were taken. But today digital albums tick you to rush the 500 snaps of one trip in one hour. So virtually we don’t get back to decade old trip at Shimla or Ooty. Similarly reading eBooks might not provide the same charm a bounded book provides. In my opinion receiving a closely covered envelope of the salary is a mush better a unique experience and spending paper money from your hands gives more satisfaction and completeness. However spending through a credit card doesn’t seem to fulfill our spending. The same is applicable for books too, every book  in our  shelf has a story, reminds the years in which we read the book, reminds you a friend to whom this book has to be returned and some of them carry few currency notes given by special persons in life. Even the stout Oxford Dictionary reminds you the heavy beatings you received from your sister on the head, when you teased her. Booking reading is not just reading, it is journey. Enjoy the journey. 

Nothing but Chess .,

குறிஞ்சி - தலைவன் கூற்று 

அமிழ்துபொதி செந்நா அஞ்ச வந்த 

வார்ந்திலங்கு வையெயிற்றுச் சின்மொழி அரிவையைப் 

பெறுகதில் அம்ம யானே பெற்றாங் 

கறிகதில் அம்மவிவ் வூரே மறுகில் 

நல்லோள் கணவன் இவனெனப் 

பல்லோர் கூறயாம் நாணுகஞ் சிறிதே. 

                                                 -தொல்கபிலர்.

குறிஞ்சி - தலைவன் கூற்று

காலையும் பகலும் கையறு மாலையும்
ஊர்துஞ் சியாமமும் விடியலு மென்றிப்
பொழுதிடை தெரியிற் பொய்யே காமம்
மாவென மடலோடு மறுகில் தோன்றித்
தெற்றெனத் தூற்றலும் பழியே
வாழ்தலும் பழியே பிரிவுதலை வரினே.

                        -அள்ளூர் நன்முல்லையார்.

மழையே யார் மீது காதல் இப்படி பொழிகிறாய்

[Translation: Hey rain, on whom you want to rain]

ஏ மைனா அந்த நொடி நீ நானென்றால் நான் ஜென்ம சாபல்யம் அடைந்திருப்பேன் 

Independence Day coming 

 அரந்த வாலுங்க

மாலை நேரம் மழை தூறும் காலம்

மாலை நேரம்
மழை தூறும் காலம்
என் ஜன்னல் ஓரம் அமர்கிறேன்
நீயும் நானும்
ஒரு வரிசையில்
சிறு மேகம் போலே மிதக்கிறோம்
ஓடும் பேருந்தில்
உடன் ஓடும் நினைவுகள் வழி மாறும் பயணங்கள்
தொடர்கிறதே
இது தான் வாழ்க்கையா
ஒரு துணை தான் தேவையா
மனம் ஏனோ என்னையே கேட்கிறதே


ஒ ஹோ காதல் இங்கே பிறந்தது
கவிதை ஒன்று முடிந்தது
தேடும் போதே தொலைந்ததே - அன்பே
இது சோகம் ஆனால் ஒரு சுகம்
நெஞ்சின் உள்ளே பரவிடும்
நாம் பழகிய காலம் பரவசம் - அன்பே
இதம் தருமே..


மூவர் இருக்கையில் அமர்கையில்
நினைவு ஓர் ஆயிரம்
இருவர் இருக்கையில் அமர்கையில்
நினைவு நூறாயிரம்
காதலில் விழுந்த இதயம்
மீட்க முடியாதது
கனவில் தொலைந்த நிஜங்கள்
மீண்டும் கிடைக்காதது
ஒரு காலையில் நீ இல்லை
தேடவும் மனம் வரவில்லை
பிரிந்ததும் புரிந்தது
நான் என்ன(என்னை) இழந்தேன் என


ஒரு முறை வாசலில்
நீயாய் வந்தால் என்ன?
நான் கேட்கவே துடித்திடும்
வார்த்தை சொன்னால் என்ன?
இரு மனம் சேர்கையில் பிழைகள்
பொறுத்து கொண்டால் என்ன?
இரு திசை பறவைகள் இணைந்து
விண்ணில் சென்றால் என்ன?
என் தேடல்கள் நீ இல்லை
உன் கனவுகள் நான் இல்லை
இரு விழி பார்வையில்
நாம் உருகி நின்றால் என்ன?